So I was staring at the wall & wondering why you haven’t called & thinking it was all my fault & then I heard that old tree fall- you know the one: that falls down with no one around & nobody knows if it makes a sound?
Well I do. And it does: first it makes a couple cracks, then bends & breaks as it looks back. Then when it falls, it makes a SMACK like how it feels falling flat on your back…
…like I did that one time out of the tree we used to climb in our front yard- and man it hurt cuz I hit hard: knocked the wind right outta me like I could hardly breathe, so when I fell through all the branches & my hair was full of leaves…
…I ran inside thinking I might die because I couldn’t catch my breath and my back & neck were sore to death, but wasn’t greeted with respect or even sympathy…
…cuz once my grandma got one glimpse of me, she beat my ass extensively while screaming, “It’s what you get, you see!? And why girls don’t climb trees!!!”
Ah man- ain’t it sumthin’ y’all: that good ole’ country lovin’ bein’ given by a bumpkin to a kid not scared of nuthin’
But staring at this wall & thinking how you never call & how I’m always prone to fall just made it clear for once & all: love is bullshit.
See, like the tree- I scaled your wall & once on top, began to fall. Unlike the tree, you heard me call & offered not a branch at all, no pile of leaves to break my fall- you just sat back & watched it all: laughing as I hit.
You mistook my fondness for your heart as weakness from the start & though, at first, you played your part, you can’t be blamed for where we are because, just like a house of cards, it took no effort on your part getting it to fall apart: just space & time.
My weakness wasn’t what I felt- or even that I fell: that was inevitable, as well- a story I don’t need to sell. It’s that I simply couldn’t tell that you weren’t mine.
Of course, I knew we weren’t together & that you’d never say forever- all the time we were whatever existed only in my mind.
But my biggest mistake wasn’t the fall or the break- it was believing you were great & thinking that you could relate, always insisting you were kind.
You see, the you you used to be- he acted very differently. Can’t believe I couldn’t see you for the you you’re now to me: guess I saw wrong.
And now the you you are to me- he has become my enemy. He never gives me what I need: so now I’m gone.
Guess I shoulda just listened to my grandma all along…
…well, at least it’s not a sad, sappy love song.