I’m exhausted. Sore. Got this huge tension knot right between my shoulder blades- where I, of course, am unable to reach.
Not that it’d matter if I could: don’t really know whether I give good massages or not- can’t really give myself one to find out. Just know it is something that is often asked of me: has been since I was a little kid slaving away on my grandmother’s back every night for what seemed like hours before she’d finally say I could be done & go to sleep.
But, as has been the #1 dilemma in my life, there are no hands offered to me- no arms to fall into at night when I’m feeling overwhelmed and achy from the day’s work.
I don’t mean to throw myself a pity party: I’m just kinda tired of always being needed- not wanted. I’m also tired of giving so much of myself to everyone else, yet feeling undeserving of anyone’s help. But mostly, I’m tired of feeling so much love for so many while still feeling utterly unloved by any.
I’m just tired of not having a friend like me 😦