How To Find God…

I’m exhausted! It’s 3:20 on a sunny Sunday afternoon, and I’m literally freakin’ exhausted!!! Judging by the title, you’d probably assume I’ve been busy with church activities since like seven or eight this morning, right? I mean- that’s assuming you’d assume things like that. Hell no! I honestly hate going to church- I mean genuinely despise it at this point in life. I assume you either feel the same or are at the least intrigued by this or else you wouldn’t still be reading this far- unless you’re one of those, “You just haven’t found the right one. You should come to mine!” types and are eagerly awaiting my reason for openly admitting something like that (as if there were only one…) even though you’d never believe it in this lifetime if I told you anyhow.

You want the truth? The plain and simple truth!? The freakin’ god’s honest TRUTH!? Okay. Here goes: cuz the ass hole’s making me!! Yeah- that’s right, you heard me: god can be a real asshole sometimes. But it’s only because we’re so frustrating our damn selves!!! For example: technically, the real reason I don’t like going to church is because- of the dozens I’ve attempted to “join” along the way- not a single one of them made the cut. Why? You ask a very good question, Young Grasshopper! It’s simple- because religion is bullshit!!!

Now I’m not saying there’s no Divine Force at work in the Universe that’s greater than all of us combined. There most certainly is- you can bet on that for damn sure! But what you might not know- especially if you are religious is this: Contrary to popular belief, there is really no such thing as this so-called free-will that supposedly “separates us from other animals”- it simply doesn’t exist. It’s a myth, a freakin’ ruse: an illusion of the mind that “God”- or MH, as I call him/her/it/he/she/we/us & they- and any other forms of grammar for ways of expressing the personification of a power– an energy that exisits in literally every single nano (?) of every little molecule of every noun (person, place, thing or idea!) that has ever or will ever exist in the universe and all it contains in the history of EVER is somehow not the sole puppeteer in this “play” we’ve been calling life!!! END OF STORY!!!!!!!!

The Most High- or MH, as I call (him)- is an ageless, sexless, non-denominational being, or power– if you will, that cares nothing for things like race, religion, creed, national origin, sex, sexual preference(s), or any other physical, mental, or spiritual labels the numnuts of this world have seen fit to stamp on your forehead!!! MH loves everyone and even all the things in this world! And why shouldn’t he, huh? (HE) MADE THEM!!! Now, there are a few things that are still in this beautiful paradise MH has given us that he sure as hell isn’t too fond of: much like roaches, they’ve managed to surpass extinction way longer than it was originally intended. But it’s not necessarily anything you’d expect that tics (him) off, I can tell ya that right now. MH‘s number one pet peeve is a selfish and persistent attempt to gain power and/or recognition for all the wrong reasons! Any attempts to gain control over the human mind sorta piss (him) off. But if your intention for striving much too hard to achieve, say fame and fortune, is actually a noble one, then you’re just basically kicking your own ass and I highly suggest that you read The Catcher In The Rye before making the next move. It maybe won’t affect you quite as intensely as it just affected me, but as soon as you reach the final sentence, you’ll know what I mean- and no skipping ahead: read it all cover to cover, even if you’ve read it before. Do it, do it now!!! Go on, I’ll wait for you.


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