Thanks For Not Caring

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I passed the inspection with flying colors- not that you care. The best part about that is how sweet the victory will be knowing it didn’t come from you: I did this for me. It occurred to me after re-reading the last text you sent that the phrase “trying to help a friend” referred to him- not me. So you cared enough about him to break your silence to me on his behalf: why couldn’t you do the same for ME at some point during all those months I’d begged for guidance & support, huh? Was it that you were really too busy to call & give me the number of a mutual friend you believed could provide a source of relief in your absence? Or have I just actually been delegated to less than a friend status, making me unworthy of the effort- yet still good enough to sleep with just one more time: just enough to make me change my mind about going home and opt for slumming it in Alabama instead? Which is it!? Doesn’t even matter: you wouldn’t answer with complete honesty- if you’d answer at all. And I was feeling too good about me to let thinking of you get me down. So I’ma get back to this Girl Code marathon then maybe go ring my own doorbell til somebody comes. Thanks again for (not) even caring

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