While You Were Gone

While you were gone, I finally got brave & left home: I moved away to the country, got back in touch with nature- on my own.

While you were gone, I sat on a stone overlooking a creek- reading Marjorie Holmes.

While you were gone, I spent my first Thanksgiving and Christmas in someone else’s home.

While you were gone, I read the entire Bible cover-to-cover.

While you were gone, my step-dad passed on so we moved back home with my mother.

While you were gone, I finally got to see my kids’ toes wiggling in the sand- and saw the ocean again for the first time since I was twelve.

While you were gone, I was mostly alone with my kids & really needed your help.

While you were gone, we stayed in a homeless shelter after some Wal*Mart employee said sleeping in their parking lot is wrong.

While you were gone, I chased the moon to Alabama & begged it to bring you home.

While you were gone, I really wasn’t sure where I belonged.

While you were gone, I kissed my dad’s mom goodbye- but couldn’t make it home for the funeral when she died.

While you were gone, I didn’t sleep: I just looked at your pictures and cried.

While you were gone, I sang in public for the first time: I opened with Whatta Man but should’ve sang Any Man of Mine.

While you were gone, I got raped again- or maybe it was my fault for drinking too much and thinking he was a friend.

While you were gone, I tried to be faithful- I wanted to stay pure. But I slipped a few times ‘cuz waiting’s hard when you’re unsure: the way you left it made me think you didn’t want me anymore.

While you were gone, I lost my mind & they locked me up again- took my kids: they took my life- when all I needed was a friend.

While you were gone, I overdosed twice & tried to strangle myself: I used the phone cord                       I was really hurting & needed help- you’d thought I’d only called ‘cuz I was bored.

While you were gone, I learned to let go- and now I find that I am free: losing control was the way to go in order to finally learn to love ME!

While you were gone, I did almost everything except moving on: I tried but my heart won’t accept it was wrong.

I really missed you while you were gone ❤

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